Slice of life Day 22 –
One of our sons and his son are coming to visit us in India in a couple of weeks. As I look forward to their arrival, I’ve been recalling some of the incidents that happened with Josh and his brother and sisters during their childhood, so many moons ago.
I’ve found I have used this particular episode quite often when chatting to new mums. It’s my example of what worked for me in the area of dealing with a strong-willed child and the “I want” dramas….
During a six month period while his older brother was at kindergarten, Josh and I sometimes used to wander around a nearby shopping centre, doing shopping if necessary, but mostly just killing time. As we weren’t in a rush, I found it a great place to observe people. I came across quite a few young mothers whose kids were trying to manipulate mum to do or give them something, while fully aware they were performing in a ‘public’ arena. If mum said no or didn’t comply, there would often be prolonged screaming and floods of tears.
One day I bought Josh an ice cream from a shop which he thoroughly enjoyed. The next day we went past the same shop and he asked me for another ice cream.
“No, you’re not getting one every day.”
First came the tears, then the tantrum. He threw himself on the ground and wept and wailed as loudly as he could. Actually no one else seemed to take a lot of notice. They possibly just felt embarrassed for me.
After a few minutes, I picked him up, still kicking and squirming and sobbing and carried him out to the car. Having observed similar scenes over the previous months had definitely toughened me up.
The next time we went past that shop he said nothing and we just walked straight past.
You can see why I do use it as an example of how to cure an “I want” tantrum!